Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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