Need sex. Gaining weight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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