have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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