your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i've created a new STD.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
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