i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
