he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
