Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
