Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
they need to just BURY HIM!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
