Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
