You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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