I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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