rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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