Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
