We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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