They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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