Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
