i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
