Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
