just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
