I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
