Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
