He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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