you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
