I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
