The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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