I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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