No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I need moral support for this bender
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
