bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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