I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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