I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
not ubering you a puppy
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
