we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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