i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
