Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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