Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
