capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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