You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
