New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
