How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
