so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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