Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
