If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
