I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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