There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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