You made me cry and you don't even care
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
