you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
