Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
