nut hugger
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
