perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I could make wine with my vomit
In America we eat man semen.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's always time for handjobs
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
