it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
