it wasn't lemon gatorade
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
